


Darcy Lewis and the Christmas Party Gone Wrong

by Galicat



Series: Darcy Days of Christmas [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Darcy Lewis-centric, F/M, Pre-Clint Barton/Darcy Lewis - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 05:05:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8735974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galicat/pseuds/Galicat
Summary: All Darcy wanted was to spend the week before Christmas fully immersed in the New York City winter wonderland. So why was she escorting Jane to a science conference in Los Angeles? At least there was a party to look forward to.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd. Have fun!

It was a week before Christmas and Darcy Lewis was in sunny, hot Los Angeles. Normally she would relish the chance to party on Tony Stark’s dime, but she had snowy Christmas plans damnit! Darcy took a breath and massaged her temples. She could still make it work, her bake-a-thon and the presents that still needed to be wrapped and the plans to go out and see the New York City Christmas displays. Thinking about all of that was not helping, the brunette knew, and she could not do anything about it now. Tony, who so graciously let her live rent free in his tribute to his ego, was the scientist originally slated to be here in California for some science conference. Last night, however, he had suddenly remembered a ‘scheduling conflict’ and dumped the whole thing on Jane Foster and her minder, Darcy Lewis. 

 

Jane, who had been waiting on test results anyway, had been fairly easy to handle on the last minute trip across the country. Darcy, on the other hand, was juggling the needs of Jane’s lab, the various Christmas plans that she had committed to, and of course getting Jane to the conference and back without incident. 

 

The party was in full swing by the time Darcy managed to get Jane through the door. The astrophysicist had been full immersed in a set of results that Dr. Banner, or ‘traitor’ as Darcy was currently thinking of him, had so helpfully sent over. The results in question had arrived halfway through getting ready for the party part of the conference. Darcy had needed to finish Jane’s hair and makeup for her, the other woman instantly immersed in the readings. That, coupled with Darcy’s own need to finish getting ready, had made them fashionably late to the party. 

 

She pulled the tablet from Jane’s grasp and shoved it in her purse. 

 

“Hey!”

 

“The party, boss lady, the party. Keep your eye on the ball.”

 

The astrophysicist grumbled. 

 

“Stark said we need to be here at least until dinner starts. After that, you can go back to the hotel with your precious readings.”

 

Jane perked up and then narrowed her eyes.

 

“What do you mean, I can go back to the hotel?”

 

Darcy rolled her eyes and gestured to the party around her. 

 

“Yeah, I can see how this might be more fun than the hotel room,” admitted Jane. 

 

The evening was a success so far, at least to Darcy. She had been well supplied with Christmas spirits and had gotten to know two or three of the waitstaff by name. They were keeping the good foods coming her way. It paid to be nice to the underlings. 

 

She watched Jane talking with very animated hands to a group of people that Darcy recognized from the day’s more studious conference seminars. Jane was in her element, arguing with scientists. 

 

Darcy was enjoying herself too, even though her shoes were starting to pinch her toes. The pinching was not helped by the hapless scientist she had danced with earlier. He spent more time apologizing for crushing her toes than actually dancing with her. 

 

The dinner bell rang and Darcy collected Jane, depositing her at their designated table. Considering that they were filling Tony Stark’s shoes at this event, Darcy really shouldn’t have been surprised to find themselves at a table with other geniuses and CEOs. Once they realized that the two women were not here with Tony Stark but here in his place, they had been promptly ignore aside from the occasional leer. She made sure Jane ate first. The petite woman practically inhaled her food. Darcy escorted her to the car and the shooed her back to the hotel with the tablet she had confiscated earlier. 

 

She returned to the party and the waitstaff kept her glass full. Dinner was rolling to a close and Darcy could feel the alcohol in her system. She flagged down one of the servers.

 

“Yo, Chad, I need some air and a Roy Rogers.”

 

“Sure, I’ll bring one over. For air, go up those stairs. There are some offices with couches you can use.”

 

“Good man,” she said. He was back her her drink only moments later. Dismissing herself from the table, she went unnoticed to these fabled couches. 

 

Ten minutes later, she had kicked off her heels and was lounging on a truly comfortable couch. Whoever decorated this office had known what they were doing. 

 

Darcy closed her eyes after rearranged the skirt of her black dress. 

 

The staccato of gunshots jerked her awake and she dropped to the floor, cursing. Her drink fell. 

 

“Aw, Roy, no.”

 

She peered around the couch. No one was there. She crawled to the door and craned her neck, trying to get a glimpse of the party that was on the lower level. 

 

Yup, gunmen. 

 

Thinking fast, she scurried to the nearest stairwell and went up a two floors. This one was under construction. Her bare feet slapped against the floor as she picked out a hiding place. 

 

She pulled out her phone and thanked Thor that Jane had wanted to get back to her precious readings. 

 

Flicking through her contact list, she selected Tony Stark and hit the call button. 

 

It was answered almost immediately.

 

“Just tell me that whoever you tased doesn’t run their own country,” Tony Stark drawled.

 

“Uh, I wish that was my problem. Dude, there are jack booted thugs here! Gunmen!”

 

“Wait, what?” She could hear something getting knocked over. 

 

“Yeah, you heard me. Party crashers. With guns.”

 

“Are you and Foster safe?” Tony, despite being an asshole, did care about them. How sweet.

 

“I sent Jane back to the hotel once she finished dinner. I, on the other hand, am still here. With the gunmen.”

 

“Alright, I’ll see who we have over there. I think Katniss is there. Jarvis?!” 

 

Darcy had to pull the phone away from her ear. 

 

Tony got back on the line. 

 

“Yeah, Legolas is in LA. Something about... I don’t know. I wasn’t paying attention. Jarvis says he’s been alerted and is coming to you now.”

 

“So stay put until help arrives?”

 

“Yup.”

 

She groaned and tapped her head against her knees. 

 

Across the bare, contruction equipment filled floor, a door opened and there was shouting in another language. 

 

“Shit,” she squeaked. “They’re here,” she whispered into the phone and ended the call, making sure it was on silent. Darcy trembled and waited. It sounded like they were still on the far side of the floor. 

 

She made a stealthy break for the closest stairwell, only getting noticed as the door slammed shut.

 

Her feet carried her up the stairs, then she pushed through another door on one of the higher floors. Hearing the shouting from the stairwell, she thought “what would an Avenger do besides take them all out by hand?” An air duct caught her eye and she didn’t even stop to think about other options. 

 

Darcy pried it open and set it closed behind her. The air duct was a tight fit, her curves working against her. She shimmied her way away from the foreign voices before stopping to catch her breath. 

 

“Come out to the coast, herd some scientists, have a few laughs,” she muttered to herself, illuminating the cramped space with the light on her phone. She dug through her purse. 

 

“Thank Thor,” she said in relief, squeezing the taser in her hand like it could teleport her out of this mess. 

 

Feeling secure now that she had her taser, she looked at the notifications on her phone. A few missed calls and three texts. She skimmed them. The calls were from Tony and two of the texts were too. She shot him a response, letting him know that she was still alive and that her phone was on silent. The third text was from an unknown number. 

 

8:38pm - Unknown number: Hawkeye. ETA 10 minutes. Situation so far?

 

She glanced at the time and then responded.

 

8:46pm - Darcy: Hiding in a vent somewhere above the 30th floor. Maybe 35th. Guys with guns. Don’t know how many.

 

8:46pm - Sit tight. Incoming.

 

She squirmed, the metal cold on her exposed skin. Darcy debated flipping onto her back but decided against it. If she needed to move quickly, get back into a crawling position might be hard. 

 

The time ticked by very, very slowly. She tried to remember if she had muted Candy Crush or not. 

 

“Hey,” a low, male voice said near her head. 

 

She jerked and a hand darted out, keeping her from smacking her head on the metal air duct. 

 

“Hawkeye, at your service.”

 

“Darcy. I really wasn’t anticipating feeling like a TV dinner when I finally met my last Avenger.”

 

It was true, she had met every Avenger but him so far, even the Black Widow. 

 

“Next time, I’ll take you somewhere with room to dance.”

 

She snorted.

 

“At least you are cuter than I remember.”

 

He cocked his head at that.

 

“I saw you in Puente Antiguo.”

 

“Huh,” he said, eyeing her with a new appreciation.

 

“So, are we gonna blow this popsicle stand or should I order pizza?” Darcy asked. She was still kinda buzzed and was starting to get hungry again.

 

He motioned for her to follow him further through the ducts. She thanked Thor for small mercies. She could follow that butt all night. 

 

He opened a grate and dropped through.

 

“Come on, I’ll catch you,” he said. 

 

“You better,” she said before dropping into the archer’s arms. She gave them an appreciative squeeze. 

 

“Gotcha,” the man said. 

 

“Very nice,” she said with a grin. 

 

“Call me Clint.”

 

He ushered her along to the roof. A helicopter was on standby somewhere close, waiting to pick them up. 

 

As they climbed the stairs, a thought occurred to her. 

 

“What about the hostages?”

 

“LAPD is handling it. My job is to get you out.”

 

She nodded. 

 

The plan was going so smoothly, Darcy was surprised it didn’t go wrong sooner. They were almost to the roof before things went sideways. 

 

In front of them stood five armed men.

 

“Who are you then,” asked the one in the back. There were five guns trained on Darcy and Clint. 

 

Clint shifted, blocking her further.

 

“Just a fly in the ointment. A monkey in the wrench. A pain in the ass.”

 

He moved the moment the first bad guy rolled his eyes.

 

All five men were on the floor.    
  
Darcy gaped as he tied them up. 

 

“Your chariot awaits,” said Clint, motioning for her to follow him out onto the roof. 

 

He stepped out first. She had stumbled a bit and when she looked back up there was another gunman. He had some heavy chains in his hands. Darcy felt her stomach drop the moment Clint realized that someone else was behind him. 

 

The men were facing each other. Their hands tightened on their weapons. 

 

“Yippee-ki-yay motherfucker,” drawled Darcy as the bad guy went down. Her taser crackled. 

 

Clint was looking at her with wonder.

 

“How does pizza sound? I know a place,” she said, nonchalantly lowering her taser.

 

“Pizza sounds perfect.” 

 

The helicopter arrived in short order, the unexpectedly quick arrival making her dress flare up. She glared at her so-called chariot before Clint helped her climb in. 

 

News reports of the aftermath reported no fatalities. She had Clint send Chad and the other waitstaff pizza on Stark’s dime. It was the least she could do. 

**Author's Note:**

> I was rewatching my favorite Christmas movie and realized that parts of it screamed Darcy Lewis and Clint Barton. John McClane's mouth and Clint's air duct adventures.
> 
> The theme song for this would be Let it Snow performed by Vaughn Monroe.


End file.
